Are you carrying your past around with you?

For many people, the past seems to either "haunt" us or it "inspires" us. Which one does your past do for you?
Most people have the same issue, it "haunts" them. "Tim, what are you talking about? My past doesn't haunt me!" Well, if you are like me, and believe me I am not a so called expert here, but I have had many experiences, both good and bad. So what does that have to do with a "haunting" past? Tell me, have you ever felt that a friend betrayed you? Have you ever been overlooked for a promotion or pay raise? Have you ever been cut off in traffic and you got so angry that it consumed you for some time during the day? I know that I have.
"Okay.....so what does this have to do with the question, Tim?"
Look, what we feed into our mind and allow into it, is what we are going to reap. So the link here is this......Let's talk about the friend. What happened when you felt that your friend betrayed you? I would bet more than not that you got angry with them. Maybe you felt that they betrayed you so deeply and on a personal level that you no longer considered them your friend. Or maybe you remained friends, but the trust was never there again and you stopped the deep personal sharing.
What about being overlooked for the promotion or pay raise? You know that you are dedicated, hard working, you show up on time, you leave later than you are supposed to, you work through your lunch break, and you have been loyal to the company. Yet, they decide to promote someone who you feel is less qualified! They give someone who has been there less time than you the pay raise! And it really doesn't matter what the reason is, but IT HURTS!
What about the person who cuts you off in traffic? You are in a rush, it is bumper to bumper, it is hot, you need to get to a gas station and get gas and this person just forces themselves in front of you. You have to let them in because you don't want to have an accident EVEN if it is their fault, because you don't want the hassle and you just want to get to where you are going! Tell me, can you feel your emotions rising to the surface when I describe these? What kind of emotions are they? I'll bet that they are not good, am I right?
So let's link this together. Your friend. If you did have someone that did something to you and deeply hurt you, what happened? It doesn't matter how long ago it was, just remember, what happened with that relationship? Your job. If that did happen to you, how did you feel? Not only about the company, but about your boss or his boss or whoever made that decision? The driver in traffic. Seriously, you don't know that person from Adam, but if you saw them again in traffic, what emotions would rise up in you and what kind of action or reaction do you think that it would provoke?
My friend, it is these little things and sometimes BIG things that we carry with us. The really sad thing is that we carry them with us to the grave! We don't even know the damage we are causing ourselves by doing this. "Doing what, Tim? You haven't really told me anything yet!" You are right, but I think that you know where I am going. Anger, bitterness, holding a grudge. These my friend are dream killers! Yet we carry them with us for days, weeks, months, years and EVEN LIFETIMES! We carry them around in a bag that we drag around on a daily basis! Can you imagine trying to haul around the weight of a car everyday, and at the same time try and run towards a goal? It is tough enough just running towards a goal. In order to reach our goals we have to manuever around and over obstacles, CARRYING this bag (our past).
One of the techniques that I have learned for leaving this bag behind is to open it up, dig through it and EVERY single thing that you are bitter about or holding a grudge for, and release them!
"Well, that's all fine and dandy,Tim but how?" That's a good question, and the answer is simple, but it is hard at the same time. FORGIVE everyone and ask for forgiveness. "Everyone? Even though they were doing things unjustly and unfairly?" Especially so! Now, I know that you don't know the person in traffic, but you can let that eat at you every time that another situation like that happens, and more than likely it will, or you can release that anger and bitterness by VERBALLY saying, "I forgive you". They aren't going to hear you, so how is that going to help? Well, remember from one of my previous posts, I said you must verbalize it to internalize it! It doesn't matter if you haven't seen this friend, or boss from the job that overlooked you. That is not what this is about. It is about releasing the emotions that drag you down. When another situation similar to one from your past comes up, YOU CAN difuse it with a forgiving attitude. You can really feel the power of this if you can say "I forgive you and I am sorry" to anyone that has done you wrong. Even if they don't care for your apology and don't forgive you, the freedom you will feel will be EXTRAORDINARY!
Life is short and you only live once, don't waste another day carrying your past around with you, at least not that past. Start filling your bag from the past with things that you can look back on and have good, positive feelings about. You will see that soon, your past will start getting lighter and lighter and it will start working with you to reach your goals. Believe me, this technique will take such a load off of your shoulders. You will soon be one of the most forgiving people anyone knows, and people WILL notice. You will start attracting better situations and people to you.
It is well worth your effort. Your life can be as full or as empty as you let it. Remember what my first about affirmations was? Take the time to read it. "Daily affirmation for your personal growth". Combine that with this technique and watch as each month gets better and better. You will start to attract the things that you want in life much easier. Like I said, the answer is simple, but it starts with a hard thing to do. ALWAYS be willing to say, "I'm sorry". Be willing to ask for forgiveness WITHOUT trying to defend yourself or your position. And always be willing to forgive and forget. If you truly forgive, YOU WILL FORGET!
Until next time and thanks for reading.
Timothy Vigil

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